My name is Samantha, and I am 32 years old. I was born and raised in Milwaukee, WI. I was brought up in a godly home with steadfast love and consistent provision. As a family, we spent more time at church than at home. At a very young age, someone I trusted and loved began to sexually abuse me. My mind couldn’t comprehend the trauma, which led to emotional dissociation and blocking out memories of the abuse.
The neighborhood I grew up in was rough and gang-infested, but my parents’ constant love and trust in God helped me feel safe. We watched Him make a way when there seemed to be no way. By age 11, my perception of life became distorted by the darkness around me. My safe place began to crumble when my parents separated. I went from being enveloped in God’s presence to spiritual isolation. I became angry with God and felt abandoned. From this place, I began a long search to fill the void in my heart. I turned to the world, believing getting high and drunk would erase the pain. Eventually, none of it was enough, and I searched for love in all the wrong places. My self-worth was depleted, giving the enemy full access to my life.
At 18, I became a mother to my beautiful baby boy. His father was abusive and inconsistent. Not long after, my baby girl was born, and I knew I didn’t want her growing up thinking abuse was normal, so I ended the relationship. As a single mother of two, I struggled. I moved back in with my parents and began abusing prescription medication, which led to opiate addiction. Addiction engulfed me, and I could no longer function.
I felt like a failure. I took my kids and moved out, which led to isolation. My life came to a halt when I had my first run-in with the law. My parents took custody of my children, and although I tried to get sober, it didn’t last. Eventually, I lost my kids, my parents, and myself.
I became addicted to the fast life, heroin, crack cocaine, and living on the streets. There, I met a man who gave me a false sense of security. He quickly became controlling and abusive, grooming and reprogramming me. By the time I realized I was being trafficked, a stronghold had formed. Many other women were brought in and endured severe abuse until I was arrested on a bench warrant.
While in county jail awaiting sentencing, an agent who was aware of my situation came to see me. This time was different. I was done running. God was giving me a way out, and I chose it. I served two years in multiple county jails and prisons. Upon my release last April, I chose to come to ATCW. It was time to heal.
Here, my life has begun to change drastically. God gave me the courage to testify in federal court, not just for me, but for the other women as well. My captor was sentenced to 182 years in prison. He no longer has a hold on me.
What I once knew about God in my head has now taken root in my heart. His love, wisdom, and grace have broken strongholds and generational curses. My identity is in Christ alone, and I choose forgiveness daily. We are all broken and in need of a Savior. His name is Jesus.
The road I walked was dark, but it led me back to my Abba.
There is freedom in obedience. I am finally free.